Yes, dear reader, there is smoking etiquette for outdoor spaces, too. (Luis Gomez Photos)

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette wrong that needs to be righted? Drop Mike a line at mike@borderstan.com or find him on Twitter @mike_kohn.

Here’s a (admittedly slightly over dramatic) letter I composed in my head as I was heading down 17th Street NW the other day:

Dear guy with the pipe who decided to blow smoke in my face as I walked by,

Did you know that that’s incredibly irritating? If you’re going to smoke on the street, pay slightly closer attention to where you blow it out so you can avoid pissing people off. I realize that it would’ve been difficult to either hold it for one extra second or turn your head, but it would’ve been nicer for me and the couple walking just a few feet behind me. Thanks for keeping that in mind.

Sincerely,

Vomiting on the sidewalk

Now, smoking isn’t my cup of tea, but I really don’t have a problem with it. There are plenty of considerate smokers out there who do it just fine. But then there’s the few crappy ones who really just ruin it for everyone.

• Don’t blow smoke in other people’s faces. Okay, if that was new or a surprise to you, you really should just not be allowed to buy cigarettes. Seriously.
• Along the same lines, consider where your smoke is going. Are you hanging with other people? Maybe position yourself so it goes downwind.
• Avoid smoking in overly crowded public areas. So I’ve seen people smoking at the dog park on 17th Street NW, outside the playground of Ross Elementary on R Street NW and on the escalator going down to the metro. It’s just a courtesy to put it out when there are lots of other people (and cute puppies and kids!) in a densely packed area. Just something to consider.
• Put it out in an ashtray. No, that doesn’t mean the street. I like seeing a clean sidewalk… which does not include stepping in tobacco from the cigarette that was split open.

Kapish?

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From Mike Kohn. Find Mike on Twitter at @mike_kohn or email him at mike[AT]borderstan.com. You can get more style tips at Parenthetical Style (where style is just a series of details).

Not more ironing,please. (Luis Gomez Photos)

In case you hadn’t heard, the makers of Monopoly decided to spice things up by asking the world to vote to save one of the tokens. Thank goodness that I’m a fan of a popular piece and my racecar was saved. The iron wasn’t so lucky.

To be honest, I was outraged (and don’t get me started on adding a cat when there’s already a beloved animal piece present…but I digress) — I’m a Monopoly purist, and it seems blasphemous. But in thinking about it more, maybe the world was making a statement.

Nick, one of my style partners in crime, talked about how important he thinks ironing his shirts is. And it shows — I spend enough time with him to know that his shirts look impeccable, all the time. I’m not here to advocate for NOT ironing; however, I am going to go say that there are ways around it, so you can get away with not doing it if you’re not feeling too inclined (and I never am).

The thought of getting out the ironing board and setting up the iron just makes me bored, let alone actually spending the time to do it. I’m lazy practical, so this is my solution to dealing with wrinkled shirts.

More Options

Let’s explore some options, shall we?

1. Hide behind something. I’m a huge fan of the vest, shirt, tie combination (obviously a jacket is great in more formal circumstances, too). The vest is a lot easier to keep looking sharp, and it’ll hide some of those more wrinkly shirts, particularly around the buttons where, if you’re anything like me, broader shoulders may stretch the fabric. If vests aren’t your thing, sweaters go nicely over a shirt in the wintertime. That’s less viable as you get into summer, but it can certainly buy you some time between irons.
2. Steam it. Haven’t you ever heard that old trick about leaving things in the bathroom and letting the steam from the shower act work its magic? It’s not perfect, but it’ll be better than nothing.
3. Air it out. Not all shirts are meant to be machine washed (even on permanent press), but if you have ones that are, rather than putting them in the dryer, hang them and let them dry out. They come out looking much better than when you put them in.
4. Do it as a last resort. I’ll admit, sometimes I have to actually iron my shirts because it’s necessary. I do sometimes further my laziness by getting them dry cleaned, killing two birds with one stone, but every few months I actually get out the old ironing board to do it. It’s rare, but hell freezes over every now and then.

So, there you go. At least you’ve got some choices to deal with the minor (or major) wrinkles in your life. (Element of style: Be sure you look presentable – but know yourself well enough to do what you have to do to look good. There’s room to be practicable and not spend more time than you have to.)

This post appeared first at Parenthetical Style.

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From Mike Kohn. Find Mike on Twitter at @mike_kohn or email him at mike[AT]borderstan.com. You can get more style tips at Parenthetical Style (where style is just a series of details).

I am legitimately blind. When I take off my glasses, the world becomes a giant blur to me.

To put things in perspective, when I looked up degree of nearsightedness (or myopia) on Wikipedia, it told me that the low range is 0 to -3.00, the medium range is -3.00 to -6.00 and the high range is -6.00 or above.

Approximately 30 percent of nearsighted people fall into the high category. My prescription is -8.75 in one eye, -9.00 in the other, so let’s just go ahead and call that very high. And in case those numbers mean nothing to you, I once asked my eye doctor what my vision would qualify as in the realm of 20/20 or 20/30, since that idea is much more commonly discussed. He laughed, told me it was near impossible to put an exact number to it and then told me that by that scale, my number would exceed 20/5000.

This makes it incredibly difficult to go buy a pair of glasses. I mean, how are you supposed to see what you look like in a pair of glasses when you literally can’t see anything?

Normally, I get someone to go with me. Generally speaking, I fly solo on things like that because then I can be on my own time – it’s not that I don’t want someone to offer an opinion, it’s really just that shopping takes up a lot of energy, so I get what I want and then I get out of there to do what I actually want to do with the rest of my day. However, on my last glasses-purchasing experience, I had to go at a time when it was just me, so I found a creative solution.

Below is one of my favorite series of photos, mostly because of the shear ridiculousness.

Mike Kohn for Parenthetical Style. (Courtesy of Mike Kohn)

Without an alternative, I snapped a photo of me in the mirror in each different pair of glasses and then put my prescription pair back on to view the photos. I also may or may not have shared them with a couple of people by text message to get some feedback. I only asked people who both knew me and had reasonable things to say that wasn’t just, “Yeah, great!” because that’s not helpful.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: Practically speaking, you know yourself the best, but when what you’re looking at is a little blurry — whether literally or metaphorically — it’s good to get some input from people who you trust. (Element of Style: It doesn’t hurt to get a second (or third) opinion on your style.)

This post appeared first at Parenthetical Style.

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From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette right that needs to be wronged? Find Mike on Twitter at@mike_kohn or email him at mike[AT]borderstan.com.

Don’t be afraid to call. (Luis Gomez Photos)

With the job market as it is, any new contact is a good one, right? While it seems like that’s the case, burning a bridge with someone you just met doesn’t quite do what you’re looking to accomplish (obviously). As someone who works in human resources and has recently transitioned into a new job, I can vouch for the value of networking.

Despite my strong need to do things on my own, looking at it from the other side, if a highly valued employee is willing to put their reputation on the line in order to represent a contact of theirs, it stands to reason that they’re someone worth talking to. No, they may not be the best person to fill a particular job, but the point is to get a foot in the door — and then the rest is up to them from there.

The best time to do some networking is when you’re not immediately looking for a job. You’re looking for these relationships to be mutually beneficial. In other words, you want to avoid being the person who only gets in touch when they need a job or some other favor. That being said, if that’s the position you’re in, then that’s where you are, and you’ve just got to power through.

Some Steps to Remember

Let’s say you’re given the information of someone you would like to meet through a current contact. So what are some things to keep in mind?

• Do reach out. You’ve got nothing to lose by sending a nice email or phone call asking if you can learn more about someone and their organization by spending 30 minutes with them at coffee or lunch, etc. While you’re naturally looking for a yes, don’t be hurt if you get declined. If that does happen, be sure to respond kindly — you never know when your paths may cross, not to mention this was a referral from your contact.
• Don’t delay in responding to your contact’s connection. If you’re not interested, say so. If you are, don’t wait for three weeks. This is particularly important if your contact has given their connection a heads up, or if your contact sends a note to both you and the new connection.
• Do plan ahead to make sure you get out of your conversation what you want. You’re getting in touch, so you’re setting the agenda. The new connection may have things they want to share, but you need to do your preparation in advance, including getting a basic knowledge of who the person is, and why you’re meeting with them so you both can be in the other’s network.
• Do ask a lot of questions when you’re talking.
• Do listen. And listen. And listen some more.
• Don’t monopolize the conversation by talking about yourself. That’s not why you’re there.
• Maybe ask if you can pass along your resume in case opportunities crop up that are a good fit for you. If the vibe feels right like you’ve made a reasonable connection and it seems like this person can help, then go for it, but use your best judgment. Again, if you’re not in an “I need a job right now” situation, then you can relax and save this for a later time.
• Do send a follow-up thanking the connection for their time. Seems like this would be common sense, but it’s not. This one goes a long way for someone you’d like to do you a favor.

The question of payment does come up frequently, particularly if you’re going for coffee or lunch. Personally, I’m indifferent. If you’re in a position where you can afford it, then go right ahead and offer to take someone out — they’re doing you a favor, so you might as well pick up their latte, and they’ll appreciate it. If you don’t feel like you can, then don’t sweat it.

If you’re unsure and feeling uneasy about what to do, plan on paying and at least make the offer to pay (and go for coffee, not a meal).

Any other networking tips you’ve found useful in your travels?

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From Mike Kohn. You can find Mike on twitter @mike_kohn or you can email him at mike[AT]borderstan.com.

Time to cut your hair? (Luis Gomez Photos)

When I was in college, I thought it would be a fun experiment to see how long my hair could grow, having had dreams of rocking a ponytail in my younger days. Combined with a European study abroad experience that only served to enable my questionable decision by showcasing how the Spaniards “pulled off” (in their eyes) the mullet look, I did succeed in growing my hair – though unfortunately, it grew out on both sides of my head, but not down in a way that actually made me look good.

My friends and family were generally unimpressed. Having looked back at pictures from that time in my life, I can see why: it was gross.

Luckily, I came to my senses and ultimately got my hair cut to a normal length and have proceeded to get it shorter and shorter in recent memory. The summer heat reaffirms that decision, reducing the already high level of sweat that comes with being outdoors in the District this time of year. To keep my hair length in check, I get a decent number of cuts. And talking with the rest of the Borderstan team, I found that our male contributors care just as much as I do about their coiffing habits, and have their regular places in the neighborhood, ranging from the classic barber shop to the trendy salon.

So where does our crew go?

Dan: “Diego’s [Hair Salon]. The best and friendliest place to go. They give you espresso for morning haircuts.” The place is really an institution. I mean, not only is the 1900 block of Q Street NW, where the salon is located, named after the owner, but the place has its own Wikipedia page. And at $20 for a men’s cut, it’s a good deal, too.

Khelan: “I go to Roberto at Blondie’s [Hair Salon and Studio]. He does a great job, it’s easy to get an appointment and at $40 he’s not very expensive.” Blondie’s is at 1910 18th Street NW, between T and Willard Streets.

Matty: “Zak at Salon Rouge on 17th. His cousin, Salim, owns the shop. Salim and the shop are both on the ballot in the Best of Gay DC voter poll!” A men’s cut at Salon Rouge is $35, so it’s not going to break the bank. You can find Zak and the rest of the gang at 1636 17th Street NW, between Corcoran and R Streets.

Luis: “Carl’s Barbershop on P Street NW, in between Transformer and the cleaners. $18 for a haircut. I have been going there for eight years. I have seen the place change with the neighborhood. Nothing fancy at all and they always have sports on the TV.” You can find the barbershop at 1406 P Street NW.

Just outside the neighborhood, Scott Leibowitz had this one to contribute as well: “Image Hair Studio in Adams Morgan. It was right around the corner from my apartment, and I still go there because one lady “knows” me. Also when it comes to haircuts, I want to sit down and let them cut. Forced awkward chit-chat is at a minimal in the Latino-run barbershop. That and they do a very nice job.” Image is at 1824 Columbia Road NW, between Biltmore Street and Mintwood Place. A men’s cut will run you $20.

As for me, I’ve also been going somewhere close to the ‘hood for a while now since it’s close to where I used to work and there’s something to be said for someone who knows exactly what you want. Selim at Charmed Salon in the Farragut Square area is that guy for me. He does a great job and gets me in and out in a snap for $40. You can find Charmed at 1134 19th Street NW, between L and M Streets.

Did we miss any good places to get a men’s cut? Let us know if you’ve got a good place to go that we missed!

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Tourists along the Tidal Basin (Luis Gomez Photos)

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette right that needs to be wronged? Find Mike on Twitter at@mike_kohn or send him an email at mike[AT]borderstan.com.

Given that Friday was the only beautiful day of the weekend, I thought I would take advantage and partake in my token annual visit to the Cherry Blossoms.

Unfortunately for me, I was not alone in that thinking. Everyone and their mother decided to drop by, so what should normally have been a casual walk around the Tidal Basin turned into a somewhat maddening journey that involved me weaving in and out of what I can only assume were several groups of tourists and fighting to make it across bridges in a speed that actually exceeded that of molasses.

I considered afterwards all of the things that I probably should have paid closer attention to, all of which apply to the Borderstan hood:

• Everyone takes photos. I did actually think about this and managed to stop myself short, but I had to apologize for being in a couple people’s memories when I was walking too fast to notice.
• There are WAY too many people traveling with pets and babies. I accidentally cut off a stroller. I did feel badly because the mother was clearly in distress mode, but I was distressing about feeling trapped behind her.
• Many of these people have never seen these things (or been to the District for that matter) before. While this was my 7th visit to the festival, it still has that inaugural excitement to it for a lot of tourists, so naturally, they want to stop and admire, rather than powering through. I felt even more aggressive than I usually do in a city where things are generally more fast-paced.

Ah, things to remember for next year…

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Avoid sharing your sweat. (Photo by christaki from the  Borderstan flickr pool)

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette right that needs to be wronged? Find Mike on Twitter at @mike_kohn or send him an email at mike[AT]borderstan.com.

Featured image from christaki in the  Borderstan flickr pool.

Thanks to my sister, who is an avid yoga fan, I finally got on the bandwagon and started my own practice last summer. The athletic nature of it combined with the idea of locating your inner balance was incredibly appealing and got me instantly hooked.

Besides the practice itself, part of the reason I kept coming back for more was that the people at my studio, The Studio DC on Connecticut Avenue at R Street NW, had that sense of warmth and friendliness that made you want to come back — everyone seemed to know the etiquette of yoga already and they were more than happy to educate newbies like me who had no idea what they were doing. Their sense of etiquette was impressive even to me (and, admittedly, I’m a little high maintenance when it comes to etiquette, in case you haven’t noticed).

Since starting my yoga voyage, I’ve been to a couple of different studios and it’s not always the case that people have the sense of common courtesy that you just expect. I’ve seen people take up more than the necessary amount of space, like the jerk who takes up two parking spaces so no one can park in front or behind them, and it’s common to see people leave equipment scattered about. Come on folks, get it together.

So whether you’re a yogi or lifting or running at the gym, here’s some food for thought:

• Make room. If you want a private gym, invite a trainer to your house. But otherwise, don’t leave your stuff strewn about, particularly if you’re at the gym or the studio or wherever you work out at high traffic times, like post-work or weekend afternoons. Moreover, don’t you dare give me a nasty look when I ask you to move your yoga mat six inches to the right so I can have my own space.
• Clean up. Have you ever gotten on an elliptical and found it to be wet with sweat? If you have, you know just how disgusting that is. Yes, it’s a gym and I’m going to sweat myself, but I’d prefer to have a clean machine to start with for sanitation purposes. Every gym I’ve ever been to has a spray bottle with paper towels for you to give a quick wipe down, so be a pal and use what they’re offering.
• Put your toys away. When I go to yoga, I always grab a block and a blanket that they offer. If I go to the gym, a lot of the times they’ll have a towel for me to use while I’m there. No matter what, I put away the stuff I borrowed. Do we need a Kindergarten lesson refresher?
• Why are you there again? I remember my days at GW watching rows of runners who looked flawless in their tight fitting clothes (of both genders) and makeup (that one is mostly at the ladies, sorry). Are you taking up my machine because you want people to notice you?

Anyone else have any horror stories when it comes to your workout routine?

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Pick it up, even when it is cold outside. (Luis Gomez Photos).

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette wrong that needs to be righted? Drop Mike a line at mike[AT]borderstan.com or find him on Twitter @mike_kohn.

Logan Mom, a frequent Borderstan reader and commenter, wrote to me and said this:

I LOVE dogs. They are the best companions in the universe. I saw a pillow somewhere that said, “Be the person your dog thinks you are.” Truly words to live by. My dog also happens to be the best napping partner in the entire family. Everyone knows I love dogs in general and mine in particular.

Is there an unwritten rule that if the temperature falls below 40 degrees, dog walkers are automatically released from their civic and moral obligation to clean up after their pet? Really???? You can’t be bothered to take off your glove to scoop your dog’s poop?  As predictable as the sunrise, there are piles for miles on top of the new fallen snow, on the glistening ice. Everywhere.

To make matters worse, rats eat dog poop. That’s right. So every time someone fails to clean up after their pet, they leave rats a big yummy meal. I just heard at the LCCA [Logan Circle Community Association] meeting last week that rats are looking for new homes in legions too because all the construction in the neighborhood disrupts their tunnel systems and nests.

Now, I’ve been out on a walk and discovered I was out of bags — what dog walker amongst us hasn’t experienced this horror? I’ve picked up plastic or paper from the street to use and scrounged in trash cans. Maple leaves are actually pretty good in a real pinch. Then there’s the radical notion that you could come back later and pick up your dog’s poop. This is a separate issue, however, of fair weather commitment to scooping poop.

As for the winter weather dog walkers who have become bad actors with the change of the weather, I’m just interested in the psychology.

Honestly, I think this reader hit the nail on the end and that’s that.

So Borderstanis, I ask you, have you experienced this? Are you a fair weather poop cleaner?

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Yes, there are urban etiquette rules to for Valentine’s Day, too. (Luis Gomez Photos).

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette wrong that needs to be righted? Drop Mike a line at mike@borderstan.com or find him on Twitter @mike_kohn.

Valentine’s Day is upon us! Hopefully you have some great plans, whether that’s going out to one of the many fabulous places in Borderstan or around town or staying in and having an equally fun and probably simpler time at your own home.

Regardless of your feelings about the holiday (or “holiday,” depending on your views), it is a great excuse to go out and do something special with your significant other. Get out of the house, enjoy yourself and share your love — why not dedicate a day to that?

Now, on behalf of those of us who may not be romantically linked at the present time, I’d just like to ask for a favor. By all means, celebrate your hearts out and enjoy each other’s company. But if you could do so in a somewhat contained manner while you’re out and about, I would greatly appreciate it.

• Keep the PDA to a minimum. I’m not really a super touchy-feely person on my own dates, but watching others make out at a table is not my cup of tea. I’ve had to do so a few times, and it made me a little less excited to be eating food.
• Feel free to hold hands, but when you’re walking around, be sure to leave a little room for everyone else walking around you. We don’t want to interrupt your romance anyway.
• Be nice to each other. Hopefully that one doesn’t even need to be stated. Lovers’ quarrels aren’t pretty for anyone, believe me.

That’s really all there is to it, in my opinion. Otherwise, live it up and have a great time!

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• All Things Valentine’s Day in Borderstan