Seats taken, some by Seat Hogs. (Luis Gomez Photos)

From Mary El Pearce. Follow her on Twitter@CupcakesDC and email her at maryelp[At]borderstan.com.

It’s the little things in life that make me happy — flowers blooming, my dog greeting me at the front door when I get home from work, running into the Metro station to find I have one minute until my train arrives. It’s also the little things in life that make me rage with anger — left-side escalator standers, tourists who hold open Metro doors so all 15 of them can get in and perhaps the most serious offense, Seat Hogs.

The Seat Hog takes up two seats during rush hour or events that cause Metro trains to be crowded. This is super inconsiderate not just because people like to sit down, but it also encourages people to crowd doorways — which prevents others from getting on the Metro, which can cause people to have to wait for another train.

Examples of Seat Hoggery

Spreading your legs so no one can squeeze in next to you. You’re not in your office, you’re on public transportation. It’s not supposed to be comfortable. If you need that much room then you should just stand.

Falling asleep across two seats. I’ve fallen asleep on the Metro many times. You really only need one seat, by the window, where you can lean your head and others can utilize the seat next to you with ease.

Using one seat for your bag. You know how in airplanes you have to put your bag on the floor? Consider it the same for the Metro.

Sitting in the outer seat. Common courtesy calls for you to scoot to the inner seat if it’s available. There’s not enough room for someone to climb over you, and most people who sit in the outer seat avert eye contact with those who want to sit down. But I’m getting off at the next stop and I don’t want to make someone else get out so I can get out, you may think, assuming you’re being polite. You’re not being polite. Stand up if your stop is next and you don’t want to sit in the inner seat.

You should know that in any of these cases I will hover over you and stare you down until you acknowledge me.

If you don’t acknowledge me I will say, “May I sit down?” (Seat Hogs always look surprised, as if they have no idea they are occupying two seats. In reality, they’ve been quietly avoiding eye contact so they don’t have to move.)

Only once has this method threatened to be hazardous to my safety (that woman was having a bad day, but how was I supposed to know?), so the odds of successfully claiming the second seat from a Seat Hog have proved to be in my favor. I encourage you to claim your sitting rights as well.

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Strangers are just friends I haven’t met. (Luis Gomez Photos)

From Candida Mannozzi. You can reach her at candida[AT]borderstan.com.

Borderstan, since a few of my recent posts were a bit more critical of some of the behaviors I’ve observed in our ‘hood, I wanted to share this anecdote with you. I was recently all the way (!) out in West Falls Church, on my way to a conference at the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS), waiting to catch a connecting bus from the Metro station to get to the USGS.

Now, I am one of those lucky few who “commutes” to work on foot for less than 10 minutes, so I have no daily need for Metro, buses, cars or other means of transportation, be they public or private. This means I am one of those dinosaurs who does not own a SmartCard.

So here I was, a little before 8 a.m. at West Falls Church and I realized I did not have exact change for the connecting bus fare. In fact, I was one dollar short and had the typical $20 yuppie-stamp in my wallet. Of course, there was no vending machine, deli, coffee shop or anything similar available for me to break my $20. I walked up to the bus stop and asked the only lady standing there whether she could possibly break my bill. She didn’t have enough to do that, but she offered me a single instead. She just gave it to me.

I was so grateful and also very embarrassed at not having prepared for this commute properly, being forced to ask a complete stranger for money! It reminded me of the many times I’ve passed people on the street, panhandling for change and not getting very far.  And here I, on my first request, got the help I needed and a pleasant exchange in the bargain.  Our ensuing chat, as we waited for the bus, revealed that we’d both grown up in the same mountain range in the Alps, just on different sides of it: she in Austria, I in Italy.

My one “consolation” for being unprepared was to remember that I’ve done my share of good turns to total strangers (one of these developed into a friendship with a painter from Barcelona, whom I helped as she was trying to negotiate the ticket machines in the Dupont Circle Metro station). So perhaps my turn had come to be assisted, as I had done for others in the past.

All moralizing or conjecture aside, Borderstan, I wish all of us occasions in which to receive the kindness of strangers. May we also get some opportunities to practice that kindness on others. Happy Spring!

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Tourists along the Tidal Basin (Luis Gomez Photos)

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette right that needs to be wronged? Find Mike on Twitter at@mike_kohn or send him an email at mike[AT]borderstan.com.

Given that Friday was the only beautiful day of the weekend, I thought I would take advantage and partake in my token annual visit to the Cherry Blossoms.

Unfortunately for me, I was not alone in that thinking. Everyone and their mother decided to drop by, so what should normally have been a casual walk around the Tidal Basin turned into a somewhat maddening journey that involved me weaving in and out of what I can only assume were several groups of tourists and fighting to make it across bridges in a speed that actually exceeded that of molasses.

I considered afterwards all of the things that I probably should have paid closer attention to, all of which apply to the Borderstan hood:

• Everyone takes photos. I did actually think about this and managed to stop myself short, but I had to apologize for being in a couple people’s memories when I was walking too fast to notice.
• There are WAY too many people traveling with pets and babies. I accidentally cut off a stroller. I did feel badly because the mother was clearly in distress mode, but I was distressing about feeling trapped behind her.
• Many of these people have never seen these things (or been to the District for that matter) before. While this was my 7th visit to the festival, it still has that inaugural excitement to it for a lot of tourists, so naturally, they want to stop and admire, rather than powering through. I felt even more aggressive than I usually do in a city where things are generally more fast-paced.

Ah, things to remember for next year…

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Avoid sharing your sweat. (Photo by christaki from the  Borderstan flickr pool)

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette right that needs to be wronged? Find Mike on Twitter at @mike_kohn or send him an email at mike[AT]borderstan.com.

Featured image from christaki in the  Borderstan flickr pool.

Thanks to my sister, who is an avid yoga fan, I finally got on the bandwagon and started my own practice last summer. The athletic nature of it combined with the idea of locating your inner balance was incredibly appealing and got me instantly hooked.

Besides the practice itself, part of the reason I kept coming back for more was that the people at my studio, The Studio DC on Connecticut Avenue at R Street NW, had that sense of warmth and friendliness that made you want to come back — everyone seemed to know the etiquette of yoga already and they were more than happy to educate newbies like me who had no idea what they were doing. Their sense of etiquette was impressive even to me (and, admittedly, I’m a little high maintenance when it comes to etiquette, in case you haven’t noticed).

Since starting my yoga voyage, I’ve been to a couple of different studios and it’s not always the case that people have the sense of common courtesy that you just expect. I’ve seen people take up more than the necessary amount of space, like the jerk who takes up two parking spaces so no one can park in front or behind them, and it’s common to see people leave equipment scattered about. Come on folks, get it together.

So whether you’re a yogi or lifting or running at the gym, here’s some food for thought:

• Make room. If you want a private gym, invite a trainer to your house. But otherwise, don’t leave your stuff strewn about, particularly if you’re at the gym or the studio or wherever you work out at high traffic times, like post-work or weekend afternoons. Moreover, don’t you dare give me a nasty look when I ask you to move your yoga mat six inches to the right so I can have my own space.
• Clean up. Have you ever gotten on an elliptical and found it to be wet with sweat? If you have, you know just how disgusting that is. Yes, it’s a gym and I’m going to sweat myself, but I’d prefer to have a clean machine to start with for sanitation purposes. Every gym I’ve ever been to has a spray bottle with paper towels for you to give a quick wipe down, so be a pal and use what they’re offering.
• Put your toys away. When I go to yoga, I always grab a block and a blanket that they offer. If I go to the gym, a lot of the times they’ll have a towel for me to use while I’m there. No matter what, I put away the stuff I borrowed. Do we need a Kindergarten lesson refresher?
• Why are you there again? I remember my days at GW watching rows of runners who looked flawless in their tight fitting clothes (of both genders) and makeup (that one is mostly at the ladies, sorry). Are you taking up my machine because you want people to notice you?

Anyone else have any horror stories when it comes to your workout routine?

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From Mary Burgan. She normally reviews movies as the Borderstan Movie Fan, but sometimes veers into the area of urban etiquette. You can email her at mary[AT]borderstan.com.

There are numerous reasons to stop tossing your  butts on the sidewalk. (M. Rhoades)

Far fewer people smoke today than they did several decades ago. I believe that in the 1960s, about half of all Americans were smokers,

However, cigarette butts have not disappeared from our sidewalks — and some guests at your home parties are still going to want to smoke, somewhere.

But it is the butts on the sidewalk that are the real danger — to the environment, not to mention the risk of smoking for the individual. That is why there are more reasons than mere etiquette for smokers to stop putting out their cigarettes on the sidewalk.

Cigarette butts are an environmental hazard. They comprise almost a quarter of all litter in any year. And when they are flipped on the street, they get washed from the sidewalk to the sewer and then to local streams and then to the general water supply.

Cigarette filters are not biodegradable; they are made from cellulose acetate, a kind of plastic. As they disintegrate, slowly, in water, they can release toxic chemicals including nicotine, benzene and cadmium.

According to one study at San Diego State, one butt has enough poisons to kill half the minnows in a liter of water — a standard laboratory test for toxins — in 96 hours. Beach communities, like surfer groups in San Diego, are most likely to emphasize cigarette butt disposal.

In the meantime, they may be ingested by fish or other animals – even children.

So what to do about cigarette butts?

One solution: The city should attach fire-proof attachments to public trash cans. The fact is that public ashtrays are few and far between on the streets these days.

The first thing, of course, is to be aware of the problem. But smokers, already feeling under attack for smoking, may resist when scolded about keeping their butts to themselves.

As a former smoker, I speak from experience. And very few of us are going to challenge a friend or stranger, for putting a cigarette out on the sidewalk.

The Place for Cigarette Butts

Throwing a party at home? If possible, provide an outdoor space for smokers instead of making them go to the street. (M. Rhoades)

The first step is to put receptacles in the right places:

• Homeowners should provide ashtrays for outside events, especially when a big party is coming up.
• Restaurants should install outdoor cigarette receptacles as permanent features of their sidewalk cafes.
• Multi-unit residences such as apartment complexes should have outdoor receptacles at their entrances.
• The city should attach fire-proof attachments to public trash cans. The fact is that public ashtrays are few and far between on the streets these days.
• Meanwhile, anyone can stub out a cigarette — making sure it’s no longer a fire hazard — and put it in some waste receptacle nearby.

And then … there are such things as personal ashtrays, though few people know about them. Google “personal (or pocket) ashtray” to see a display of possibilities; you can order online. One version actually looks like a human butt!

Most of us are not aware of the ecological damage caused by cigarette butts. Now that you know about it, though, it is time to stop flipping your butts on the street.

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Pick it up, even when it is cold outside. (Luis Gomez Photos).

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette wrong that needs to be righted? Drop Mike a line at mike[AT]borderstan.com or find him on Twitter @mike_kohn.

Logan Mom, a frequent Borderstan reader and commenter, wrote to me and said this:

I LOVE dogs. They are the best companions in the universe. I saw a pillow somewhere that said, “Be the person your dog thinks you are.” Truly words to live by. My dog also happens to be the best napping partner in the entire family. Everyone knows I love dogs in general and mine in particular.

Is there an unwritten rule that if the temperature falls below 40 degrees, dog walkers are automatically released from their civic and moral obligation to clean up after their pet? Really???? You can’t be bothered to take off your glove to scoop your dog’s poop?  As predictable as the sunrise, there are piles for miles on top of the new fallen snow, on the glistening ice. Everywhere.

To make matters worse, rats eat dog poop. That’s right. So every time someone fails to clean up after their pet, they leave rats a big yummy meal. I just heard at the LCCA [Logan Circle Community Association] meeting last week that rats are looking for new homes in legions too because all the construction in the neighborhood disrupts their tunnel systems and nests.

Now, I’ve been out on a walk and discovered I was out of bags — what dog walker amongst us hasn’t experienced this horror? I’ve picked up plastic or paper from the street to use and scrounged in trash cans. Maple leaves are actually pretty good in a real pinch. Then there’s the radical notion that you could come back later and pick up your dog’s poop. This is a separate issue, however, of fair weather commitment to scooping poop.

As for the winter weather dog walkers who have become bad actors with the change of the weather, I’m just interested in the psychology.

Honestly, I think this reader hit the nail on the end and that’s that.

So Borderstanis, I ask you, have you experienced this? Are you a fair weather poop cleaner?

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Yes, there are urban etiquette rules to for Valentine’s Day, too. (Luis Gomez Photos).

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette wrong that needs to be righted? Drop Mike a line at mike@borderstan.com or find him on Twitter @mike_kohn.

Valentine’s Day is upon us! Hopefully you have some great plans, whether that’s going out to one of the many fabulous places in Borderstan or around town or staying in and having an equally fun and probably simpler time at your own home.

Regardless of your feelings about the holiday (or “holiday,” depending on your views), it is a great excuse to go out and do something special with your significant other. Get out of the house, enjoy yourself and share your love — why not dedicate a day to that?

Now, on behalf of those of us who may not be romantically linked at the present time, I’d just like to ask for a favor. By all means, celebrate your hearts out and enjoy each other’s company. But if you could do so in a somewhat contained manner while you’re out and about, I would greatly appreciate it.

• Keep the PDA to a minimum. I’m not really a super touchy-feely person on my own dates, but watching others make out at a table is not my cup of tea. I’ve had to do so a few times, and it made me a little less excited to be eating food.
• Feel free to hold hands, but when you’re walking around, be sure to leave a little room for everyone else walking around you. We don’t want to interrupt your romance anyway.
• Be nice to each other. Hopefully that one doesn’t even need to be stated. Lovers’ quarrels aren’t pretty for anyone, believe me.

That’s really all there is to it, in my opinion. Otherwise, live it up and have a great time!

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Yes, dear reader, there is smoking etiquette for outdoor spaces, too. (Luis Gomez Photos)

From Mike Kohn. Have an urban etiquette wrong that needs to be righted? Drop Mike a line at mike@borderstan.com or find him on Twitter @mike_kohn.

Here’s a (admittedly slightly overdramatic) letter I composed in my head as I was heading down 17th Street NW the other day:

Dear guy with the pipe who decided to blow smoke in my face as I walked by,

Did you know that that’s incredibly irritating? If you’re going to smoke on the street, pay slightly closer attention to where you blow it out so you can avoid pissing people off. I realize that it would’ve been difficult to either hold it for one extra second or turn your head, but it would’ve been nicer for me and the couple walking just a few feet behind me. Thanks for keeping that in mind.

Sincerely,

Vomiting on the sidewalk

Now, smoking isn’t my cup of tea, but I really don’t have a problem with it. There are plenty of considerate smokers out there who do it just fine. But then there’s the few crappy ones who really just ruin it for everyone.

• Don’t blow smoke in other people’s faces. Okay, if that was new or a surprise to you, you really should just not be allowed to buy cigarettes. Seriously.
• Along the same lines, consider where your smoke is going. Are you hanging with other people? Maybe position yourself so it goes downwind.
• Avoid smoking in overly crowded public areas. So I’ve seen people smoking at the dog park on 17th Street NW, outside the playground of Ross Elementary on R Street NW and on the escalator going down to the metro. It’s just a courtesy to put it out when there are lots of other people (and cute puppies and kids!) in a densely packed area. Just something to consider.
• Put it out in an ashtray. No, that doesn’t mean the street. I like seeing a clean sidewalk… which does not include stepping in tobacco from the cigarette that was split open.

Kapish?

Five simple tips for a pleasant grocery store experience: yours and everyone else's, too. (Matty Rhoades)

From Mike Kohn. Got an urban etiquette ‘wrong’ that needs to be righted? Find Mike on Twitter @mike_kohn or drop him a line at mike@borderstan.com.

The other day I was at 17th Street Safeway, waiting in the self-checkout line. Yes, I’m impatient sometimes — and with four stations, it does move quicker than the other lines, generally speaking. Someone decided they were too good for the medium-sized line and opted to stand directly next to the line. This is the aisle next to the one that all Safeway shoppers have come to understand is the one designated for self check-out, especially with the posted sign indicating it.

When the cashier who oversees self-checkout called her out and asked her to move to the back of the line, she had a slight temper tantrum. The woman complained to the cashier that the line was too long for her to wait, and then angrily muttered under her breath while forced to wait the extra 5 minutes.

I got to practice my eye rolling, so that was fun.

Grocery Shopping Etiquette Guide

So how should one act at the grocery store? It’s simple courtesy and manners, people. Here are five tips.

1. Like other stores in our neighborhood, supermarket aisles aren’t massive like they might be in the burbs (and they’re virtually non-existent in the 17th Street Safeway), so stay compact, don’t make sudden turns and avoid stopping without warning. You’ll likely hit someone or have someone run into you.
2. Pay attention. Obliviousness to everyone and everything else isn’t really helpful.
3. Unless you’re using the self-checkout line, acknowledge whoever’s helping you and break free of the “Curtain of Silence.”
4. To the above point, get off your cell phone when you’re checking out. Because lines can get so long and all you’re doing is waiting, I do find them to be awesome times for catching up with people, but it’s kind of rude to keep up the chatter while you’re wrapping up.
5. Listen to and follow directions. Yes, I’m looking at you impatient self-checkout girl at Safeway. But this also applies to the express checkout at Whole Foods as well, and whatever else comes up.

Walk when you’re on the left! (ep_jhu in the Borderstan Flickr pool)

From Mike Kohn. Got an urban etiquette ‘wrong’ that needs to be righted? Find Mike on Twitter @mike_kohn or drop him a line at mike@borderstan.com.

I swear, sometimes it’s the simplest things out there that create the biggest problems. Is it really that hard to ride an escalator? The concept is easy enough — you stand and ride or you walk up the moving staircase until you get off. And yet, how many times have I walked up or down an escalator to find someone blocking my path, like an obnoxious Parcheesi opponent?

Just last week as I was descending into the Dupont Circle metro, I had to jump to the side to avoid barreling into someone who decided that it would be a good idea to stop directly at the bottom of the escalator. Apparently we could use a little clueing in.

• Stand to the right, walk on the left. This is posted everywhere, so you have absolutely no excuse not to do it. I’m a walker, so I’ll be racing by you on the left. When you stand in the middle of the escalator or, even worse, block the left lane, you irritate everyone.
• In a similar vein, if you have bulky items or just a lot of them, keep them close. Yeah, I’m sure there’s something about security and watching your stuff, but really, just don’t block my way up the side.
• When you finish your chariot ride up or down, move out of the way. There are people behind you and believe it or not, they have nowhere to go if you block their way off of the escalator.

This is DC, people. We move fast and we get things done. We don’t have time to wait for people to figure out how to use something as easy as an escalator.

Recently, Metro coined a new phrase: “escalefter.” Definition: a person who stands on the left side of the escalator when he should be standing on the right.” I think it’s time we respect those signs, don’t you think?