SYMHM: The Weekend Roundup

From Mike Kohn

D.C. is Smokin’!

Mayor Gray unveiled his plan for governing the dispensing and growing of marijuana in the District, says the Washington Examiner. We’ll have to wait 90 days to get the approval and the final word, but unless it all goes to pot, the Mayor will assemble a panel to review and approve applications for 10 growing centers and five dispensaries. Before you get your hopes up, the marijuana will only be open to patients with HIV, AIDS, cancer, glaucoma or multiple sclerosis.

Ante Up

If pot wasn’t enough for you, add another sin to the list of things D.C. is making easier for you to do — this time, it’s internet gambling, says the Washington Times. The District is going to be the first place in the nation to allow Internet gambling. Government officials figure if people are going to waste their money make big bucks on the likes of Texas Hold ‘Em and Five Card Stud, they would cash in and generate some revenue to hopefully “help social services programs.” Let’s say the ends justify the means on that one.

DOMA Hearing

From drugs and gambling to same-sex marriage — we’re just freaking conservatives out left and right. Last week, the House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution held its scheduled hearing on the Defense of Marriage Act. While all Democrat committee members were present, aside from the chair, no Republican members were present for the bulk of the hearing. No conclusion was reached, but there will be another hearing with the Department of Justice in May. Read the full hearing summary, and catch a snappy video to boot, from MetroWeekly.

Pricey Gas

Given how walkable Borderstan is, it seems likely that most of you won’t have cars that need fueling up. In case you’re looking for another reason to ditch the car and get a Zipcar membership, gas prices have hit a $4 per gallon average, becoming the fifth jurisdiction to do so. Ick. DCist has the scoop as well as a link to a fancy mobile app that will let you find the cheapest fuel in the area if you’re going to stick with your gas guzzler.

Can you hear me now?

Add another dubious title to D.C.’s growing list. According to a report from J.D. Power and Associates, the District officially has the worst cell service of any major city in the U.S. What’s even better is that the authors of the report have no explanation for why our coverage is so horrendous. Score! Check it out at the Washington Examiner.