From Willis Shawver. Follow him on Twitter at @WShawver or email him at Willis[AT]borderstan.com.
Hello, lads. Happy Valentine’s Day! Hopelessly single in DC without a Valentine’s Day date? Let not your lonely heart be troubled. A recent study from Nerd Wallet – published by InTheCapital – reports that DC has about 10 unmarried women for every nine unmarried men. (Sorry, ladies.)
With those odds, there is no excuse to find yourself without a date this Valentine’s Day. So let this former serial-dater give you some advice on where to find that special someone this week.
Let’s start with that DC institution where everyone eventually finds themselves: the Metro. Don’t let the fluorescent lights and odd smells fool you. The Metro is a perfect place to find a date.
You can really tell a lot about someone by how they ride the Metro. Is she sitting in an aisle seat with an open window seat? Too selfish. That girl who refuses to move to the middle of the car. Control issues. Frantically typing away on her Blackberry? Workaholic.
But that girl who gave up her seat to that nice old lady? Now that’s someone you can take home to meet mom and dad. Just take that advice from the voice over the Metro intercom: “If you see something, say something.” And I’m talking about women here, guys, not suspicious packages.
Do you consider yourself a foodie? Does your food blog have Instagrams of what you had for breakfast this morning? Perfect, ladies dig the food blog fellas. And if you happen to find women who know how to spell quinoa attractive, try the Dupont Farmer’s Market (every Sunday from 10 am until 1 pm) and impress her with your culinary knowledge of red kale and rutabaga.
And who doesn’t like music? Whether you’re catching the next up-and-coming band at the Black Cat, or you’ve scored some last minute tickets to a sold out show at the 9:30 Club, music venues are the perfect place to find that special someone.
Be prepared to defend your position on [insert name of hipster album] and discuss why its rating on Pitchfork.com was too harsh.
Well good luck, fellas. And hey, even if you didn’t find a date for Valentine’s Day, Chinese take-out and Breaking Bad on DVD isn’t a bad night either. Hell of a lot cheaper, that’s for sure.