Hi there, Borderstanis. It’s been a long two weeks. And yes, I’ve missed you too.
In a recent conversation with my friend and former colleague Lisa on topics ranging from office gossip to the unfortunate fashion disasters, Lisa mentioned a mutual friend and fellow office worker, a character notoriously known for his stench.
Stench, not in a bad way — but in a really overwhelming, “what cologne did he reek of and how many feet away was he from you when you smelled him?”
After our laughter (and unmistakable bitchiness) subsided, she suggested I write a column about the proper and more subtle way to wear eau de toilette.
Cologne: Since we’re heading into warmer months, I’d recommend a lighter, more citrusy scent.
So, thank you former colleague and office mate for the inspiration. I had wrongfully assumed that, like learning how to shave and how to tie a basic four-in-hand knot for neckties, part of the essential father-son education was how to use cologne so you’re not offending people in a three to seven foot radius. Guess not. I suppose the cliche is true: an assumption is the mother of all f*ck-ups. (And it was Mother’s Day two days ago, after all).