From Katie Andriulli. Email her at katie[AT]borderstan.com and follow her on Twitter @kandriulli.

The manifestation this week of the DC sinkhole and the uncomfortable fluctuations in the weather can only mean one thing: the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) is in town again.

So if you see a lost young lad on the Metro wearing this, just point him in the direction of Reaganpalooza and consider this your absolution for the many obscenities you hurled at the TV when Paul Ryan spoke during the GOP convention. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s take a look at what us 47% have on tap this weekend.

Thursday

• Today is National Nerd Coming Out Day, aka 3.14, aka “Pi(e) Day.” Celebrate all things mathematical and delicious tonight at The Dunes, where they’ll be hosting a pie bonanza from 6 to 8:30 pm, with all proceeds going to Common Good City Farm. A suggested donation of $7 includes unlimited pie tastings… just don’t forget to bring your own plates and utensils.
• And since you’ll be pie-drunk and pretty close by, hop in a cab afterwards and head up the street to the Blue Banana, which is hosting a special guest bartender night from 6 to 10 pm, with 20% of proceeds benefiting the incredible local organization Lucky Dog Animal Rescue.

Friday

• If you really do want to avoid the CPAC crowd, plan on attending some screenings tonight during the Environmental Film Festival, which coincidentally kicks into high gear this weekend. There are almost 200 films being shown around town, and most events are free, but all you really need to be concerned about is this movie about an orphaned baby otter. An ORPHANED.BABY.OTTER.

Saturday

• I was going to suggest that you get in touch with your inner Carol Channing tonight and head over to Ford’s Theater to take in their incarnation of Hello, Dolly!, but since it just opened, it appears to be sold out. If you can find some tickets on the black market, then by all means make it happen. Otherwise, you can check out some “rock n’ roll music” tonight instead when Jukebox the Ghost headlines at the 9:30 Club, with openers Matt Pond and The Spring Standards. Tickets are $15 and doors open at 8 pm.

Sunday

• Much like New Year’s Eve, St. Patrick’s Day is for amateurs, which means you’re likely to encounter green vomit on the sidewalk before the sun goes down. In my opinion, you’re much better off partaking in an early brunch and then heading home to watch several installments of the Leprechaun franchise.
• But if Jennifer Aniston’s real nose is too scary for you, you could instead make an appearance at the Shaw’s Community St. Patrick’s Day Street Festival, sponsored by Shaw’s Tavern, which runs from 11 am – 5 pm (on 6th Street NW between Florida Ave. and S Streets), and features a beer garden, live music, and Irish step dancing.

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