by October 22, 2012 at 10:00 am 1,439 1 Comment


Fall, seasons and finales. (Fox Deatry)

From Fox Deatry. Email him at fox[AT]

Every year DC experiences a drastic change. Kayaks along the Potomac are docked and stored away, the draft turns a bitter cold, dieting seizes as layering begins, and leaves become a vibrant auburn before morbidity sets in.

Fall is said to be the season in which the goddess Demeter neglects the Earth as her daughter Persephone returns to her yearly stint in the Underworld. For Washingtonians, fall is that time when emotions from the fresh goodbyes to summer interns and graduates are set aside to deal with the new faces settling in. Fall is that season in which closeted Hill folks call up lost contacts to ask if they have tickets to Miss Adams Morgan. It is the season when gay men exhume their magenta stilettos and dust off their bygone Madonna costumes for Dupont Circle’s Drag Heel Race. It is the time when people pluck the piano keys and sing in melodramatic falsetto, ‘Every Time We Say Goodbye,’ at L’Enfant Café. People come and go, seasons fade and new faces shine.

This is my last article for Borderstan, but before I croon my swan song and ride into the sunset, this ‘supposed’ lifestyle writer, needs to croak a few more words of wisdom:

  1. Never Leave Your Hometown: You might be in a different city, but keeping your own morals is key to surviving here. The worst thing you can do is to be another Hill or K Street wannabe. Plus, they have bad attitudes, permanent scowls and a fashion sense courtesy of the Sears Catalog. You came here with the strong Miss America conviction to bring world peace. Keep it that way. If you’re uncertain then Mr. Smith Goes To Washington is available on Netflix.
  2. Love and Labels: Carry Bradshaw said it. People come to New York City to fall in love and wear Manolos. In D.C., they come because they are unconditionally in love with a cause. Whether its saving the Expedia Gnome or keeping Big Bird from receiving unemployment benefits, people here believe in labels and categories in a political sense. If you don’t have any, move to a different city. Packing love and label in your suitcase along with your pink wardrobe and Beverly Hills Chihuahua Legally Blonde-style is mandatory.
  3. Farewell is Good: Hallmark may say otherwise, but endings are part of the circle of life. D.C. has seen many changes since it was known as Washington City. Neighborhoods gentrified, communities sprang, population increased and new monuments built to tell the tale of heroism. It all happened under the careful watch of the architect of this city. He lies across the river, on a hill rich with grass tuffets and glistening snow in the midst of January. He’s name is Pierre L’Enfant. He came to this once swamp and mud-stricken city a stranger. He left it with the grandeur of the Roman Empire.

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