by June 26, 2013 at 2:00 pm 0

From Farrah Joon. Check out her blog, sexandfessenjoon. Email her at farrah[AT], follow her on Twitter @Farrah_Joon.


Trusting hand. (Luis Gomez Photos)

I’ve always been very independent when it comes to men. I don’t trust easily and it’s not because I’ve been so scarred for life, but because I feel like every time I begin to trust one — I get let down.

The fear of vulnerability outnumbers any desire to take a risk.

And I’m actually quite okay with that for now because I truly haven’t met anyone that I can see a future with. So it’s really out of sight out of mind for me… until I realized that there are different degrees of trust in any type of “Romantic” relationship:

  • You trust your partner to stay committed.
  • You trust the guy you are having sex with to refrain from (figuratively) screwing you over.

Regardless, trust is always going to be an issue in any relationship you might have — whether it’s professional, friendship, relationsh*T, etc.

But how do you determine what makes a person trustworthy?

My friends always say “trust is earned”– but how do you know when someone finally earns it?

  • They bring you lunch everyday for a week and you decide that you trust them?
  • Or they put on a condom without you having to ask therefore, you trust them?

I don’t really buy into the notion that “Trust is earned,” I think trust is a feeling. When you “click” with someone it’s because you feel comfortable with them (whether it’s a friend or a lover).

If someone rubs me the wrong way within five minutes of talking to them — it’s likely that I will never be open to trusting that person.  But if I can be comfortable with someone and hold an enjoyable conversation — then I’m likely to trust that person in the future. Make sense?

Of course a lot more plays into my instant reaction to trust or not to trust. Or am I just relying too much on my emotional connection to a person?

Are we all just constantly proving ourselves to each other as a trustworthy counterpart or can someone tell that I will keep their secrets just by looking at my face?

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